Ancient Ireland: Where Witches and Warriors Ruled

Leave your logic at the door, Weirdos! This week, Jacklynn and Stevie are back across the Irish Sea getting tangled in the wild, lyrical, and sometimes terrifying world of Irish Folklore.

From the heartbreaking transformation of the Children of Lir into swans (talk about a bad stepmother!) to the ultimate "brain food" of the Salmon of Knowledge, we’re uncovering why these tales are more than just bedtime stories—they’re the heartbeat of ancient Ireland. We’re also talking warrior standards: why the Fianna makes modern Navy SEAL training look like a spa day, and why Cú Chulainn is the OG superhero you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. Grab your tea and maybe some more whiskey and let’s go!

Want more Weirdos of Whimsy? Check out https://bio.site/weirdosofwhimsy to find everything in one place! From there, you can subscribe to our YouTube channel, grab some official merch, or follow us on Instagram to chat!

Have a bone-chilling story of your own? We want to hear it! Send your scary encounters to weirdosofwhimsy@gmail.com or DM us. Your story might just make it onto a future episode! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

So our hero He accidentally killed the ferocious guard dog of Kulan the Smith. To make amends, he promised to act as the blacksmith's guard dog until a new one could be trained, thus becoming Kukulan or the Hound of Cullen.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

So a little pet play going on.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

All right. Whimsical. Hi, my name is Jaclyn. I'm Stevie. And we're back. We are back talking about more Irish folklore.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

Because we didn't have enough.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

We did not have enough. We love it. We cherish it. We really wanted to celebrate with four episodes dedicated to the wonderful country of Ireland, especially obviously with it being March, the month of St. Paddy's Day. So we're closing out the month with what I think is our most strongly researched episode. I would agree with that. Dare I say ever. Not just within this realm of talking about Irish folklore, but I mean like period stop since the beginning when we did this. As you party people know, like we love facts, but we're also babbling idiots.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Buffoon. Well, me specifically. You actually do facts.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

I don't. I think maybe I just fake it really, really well. Um but uh today I have information right from the source. Right from the source. I know wonderful people who reside in the beautiful country of Ireland and are very proud supporters of the heritage and uh legends. So big shout out to them. Really, really appreciate it. Yes, thank you so much for I've never met you, but yes, this is Steam. He's my best friend. Hi Um uh Thank you so much for providing us with these legends, the insight, and for the website um that they sent, which was really cool. Epic website. Epic website. Um volunteers have been finding historical documents, even like down to um stories that children would write about these legends from like the 30s, 40s, and 50s.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

Like there's a written page. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

And transcribe them into the website. So the website, I'm get ready for the let the butchering of the pronunciation begin.

SPEAKER_03 2:40

It's happening.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Um the site is www.ducas.ei. Um, and within that site is the National Folk Folklore Collection. So we really want to do you guys proud and we really hope we don't screw up any of these words or phrases. Um I'm just gonna give a quick shout out, Catherine, John O, um, your whole family. You guys are just the best. Um so thank you.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

You're the crack.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Oh my goodness. Wow, look at that. I think that works. Yeah, yeah, totally, totally. Uh all right, Stevie, let's get into it.

SPEAKER_03 3:17

Okay, so the first kind of legend we're gonna talk about is the children of Lear, which some of you may have heard of this one before. Um, so the folklore says that Lear, a king of the Tuatha Dedonin. You're so good at saying that. Thank you. Man, I'm probably saying it wrong. Um, so the king of the Tuatha Dedonin, King Lear, uh had four children with his wife Eve. Okay. Finula, I, Fiacra, and Khan.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

We're just gonna keep rolling. Again, we're so sorry.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

Uh after Eve died, Lear married her sister Epha. Eva grew deeply jealous of the children's bond with their father. I never understood that.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

No.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

When stepparents come in and they're jealous of the person's children.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

A lot of legends have that. Yeah. And dare I say, a lot of real life situations have that.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

Wild. I don't understand it at all.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

Um, so yes, she was deeply jealous of the children's bond with their father. So she devised a plan to make the children disappear. Yikes. What a bit. Yeah, not good. Uh so she hatched a plan and lured the children to the waters at Lake Deruvara. Nice. Thanks. Uh, however, once there, she, I don't know, maybe grew a little bit of a heart. Yeah. And she could not bring herself to kill them.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Yeah. Rightfully so.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

Right. Rightfully so. So instead, she used a magic wand to transform them into four white swans. Beautiful but sad. Beautiful but sad. Yeah. Um, however, she left them their human speech and the ability to sing the most beautifully haunting songs ever heard.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Oh, man. Okay, but let's just talk about silver lining? Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Uh, quick introduction as we do.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

I would be happy to be a swan.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

I think I would too.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

That would be nowadays. They are amazing. Very protective.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

Very protective.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

We actually, so where we live up north, there are the winter um brings hundreds of swans every single year. And they all hang out in this one spot because there's proper food. Like the there's a current, so it doesn't completely ice over, but there's still enough ice where they can swim out, jump on the ice, sleep there away from predators. Where is that? It's in Washago.

SPEAKER_03 5:35

Oh, I want to go.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

It's like, yeah, it's like literally five minutes from my house on on Lake Sim or uh Kucha Chang. It's really cool. I'll take you there. Come up.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Yes. Come up. Okay. Because I love swans. We used to have them at um the retirement home I worked at. There was a little pond out front. We had swans there. Uh, and then I also took care of a few at the Toronto Wildlife Center.

unknown 5:54

Cool.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Evil though.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

I mean, they hiss.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

They would dive bomb the bar. So we would have to like throw the food in, slam the door shut, and like, or they would like murder you.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

No, yeah, they don't they don't like people. They hiss a lot. Like, I'll get not close to them because I want to respect them.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

But even if we're, you know, 30 feet away, they like look at you and they hiss and they hiss and their necks get really puffy. Yeah. Wild.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

And they bond for life.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Oh, beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

I'm pretty sure they bond for life. And if one of them dies, they get sad and depressed. They get the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Mr. Kai.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

I know.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

All right. Well.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

But these are children.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

These are yeah, wild. Okay. So when Lear discovered what Eva had done, he banished her forever. But yep. But the damage was done. Right. The spell could not be undone, and the children were cursed to spend 900 years on the waters of Ireland. That was broken down because it wasn't just like 900 years you're free to roam around. No, no. They had to spend 300 years on Loch Dura. Oh no. How did you say that? Durava.

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Durava.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

Deravara. Duravara. Duravara. Which was near their father's home. So like close enough, but Euroswand. Euroswand. Um 300 years on the Sea of Moy, the cold, stormy channel between Ireland and Scotland. Okay. Then another 300 years on the Atlantic waters. So like you had you couldn't just choose where you were going.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

You had to spend That would also be boring.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 7:17

If you could roam the world, maybe I'd be like, sure, that's one thing.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

But like now, granted, of course, the waters were quite large, but come on. Yeah. So of course, throughout these centuries, they suffered through freezing winters and violent storms, but they were kept alive by their bond and their love.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

Bonded for life.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Uh so the curse stated they would remain swans until the noblewoman from the south meets the nobleman from the north. And the sound of a Christian bell rings out across the land. Okay. Eventually, the children were taken in by a monk a monk named Muki Vogue.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

I'm sorry, you're getting a lot of the names. Yeah. I swear I didn't do this on purpose.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Mookie Vogue. Uh when a princess named Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Okay, this one I looked up. It's like Juk.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

Juk? When a princess named Juk.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

I'm sorry, again, just butchering the Irish heritage and language here.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

Uh from the south tried to seize the swans from the monk from the north. The silver bells of the church rang out. The swan feathers fell away. But because nine hundred years had passed, they didn't return to children. They transformed into shriveled ancient people. That sucks. That's a shitty curse.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

That's pretty bad. I mean, curse is a curse.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

Um Pishug. Is this a Pishug?

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Wait, look at us learning. Again, did we say it correctly? Probably not.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

Before they died of old age, the monk baptized them. Lovely. And they were buried together finally at peace. Wow. But weren't they Tuatha Dodonin? So they're like old gods of the Irish folklore, but then they were baptized?

SPEAKER_01 9:00

I mean, I well, listen, Lear was the king of the Tuatha Donin.

SPEAKER_03 9:05

So they're princes and princesses.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Maybe, well, maybe the curse was like wiped out out. We got questions. We got questions. Feel free to write in people from Ireland. Um okay. So if you ever visit Dublin, which we've been to, maybe we've seen it. Maybe I would have known if I wrote it down in my journal, which I did not do.

SPEAKER_03 9:26

Did not do. She talked about your shitty pretzel.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

I did in New York. Wasn't even in Ireland. Talked about a pretzel that was terrible at JFK. All right. So if you ever visit Dublin, you can find a massive bronze statue of the children of Lear in the Garden of Remembrance. It serves as a tribute for uh to the struggle for Irish freedom, using the children's long exile and eventual rebirth as a metaphor. A metaphone. Metaphier. Wow. Bringing up some sort of accent. Uh metaphor for the nation. There you go. Right? So lovely. Sad. Sad. Hauntingly beautiful. Hauntingly beautiful. But sad. All right, let's move on to our next legend.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

This just the title of this one alone. Love it. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

The Salmon of Knowledge. All right. So the story begins with an old poet named Finnegas.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

Finnegus.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Love that name. Who's that one I nailed. That one I can I can say. Potentially. Actually, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

We are not too sure.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Not sure. We did look this up and we did listen to a lot of copious videos, but like that was half an hour ago. Okay, so Finnegas spent seven years living on the banks of the river Boyne. Yeah. He was hunting the salmon of knowledge, a fish that had eaten nine hazelnuts dropped into the well of wisdom from the sacred hazel trees. So this fish knows what's up.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

This fish knows what's up.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

The prophecy stated that whoever ate the salmon would possess all the knowledge in the world.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

I love salmon.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Salmon is delicious. Maybe that's why it's so good and it's good for our brains. Maybe. Hello.

SPEAKER_03 11:02

Make sense. Hello. I did not eat this salmon. Neither did I.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Is anyone surprised? We have not found the salmon of knowledge.

SPEAKER_03 11:12

No, we have not.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Um Finnegas eventually caught the fish and handed it to his young apprentice, Finn, to cook. He gave the boy one strict instruction: don't eat a single bite of this fish.

SPEAKER_03 11:26

I wonder what happened. I wonder if I know where this is going.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

I mean.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

As Finn was frying the salmon, a blister rose on its skin.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Oh man.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

He pressed it down with his thumb to keep it from burning. And in the process, it scorched his skin. Instinctively, he popped his thumb into his mouth to soothe the burn. As you do.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

Although I don't actually, when you were like, ah. You put it in your mouth. I run it immediately under clothes.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Well, yeah, but like, you know, you it's like you see that. You see that being like, uh Yeah, fair.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

You know, or a cut. Yeah, you know. Cuts for sure. Um when Finn brought the meal to Finnegus, the old poet noticed a change in the boy's eyes. They were bright with a wisdom far beyond his ears. Did you eat any of the fish? Finnegas asked. No, the boy replied, but I burnt my thumb and sucked on it. Well, there you go. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

So Finnegas realized the prophecy was meant for the boy, not him. There you go. He told Finn to finish the salmon, and from that day on, whenever Finn needed to solve a problem or see the future, he simply had to suck his thumb and the wisdom of the salmon would come rushing to him. Is that what I'm doing wrong?

SPEAKER_03 12:38

No, I'm not sucking on my thumb anymore.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Maybe that's why kids are smarter than all but. Maybe, yeah. The salmon of knowledge remains a massive icon in Ireland. You'll see it everywhere. And I I think I do remember this. I just obviously didn't know. Um, so the big fish sculpture in Belfast, there is a famous 10-meter-long blue salmon sculpted cover. Sorry, sculpture covered in tiles that tells the city's history. Wow. Yeah. Um, when it comes to academic excellence, it is excellence, rather, it's frequently used as a symbol for schools and libraries across the country to represent the pursuit of wisdom. Love it. Makes total sense.

SPEAKER_03 13:16

That's cool.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:18

Yeah. Okay, next we have Brune Boyna. Wow. Was that good?

SPEAKER_01 13:23

That was really, I mean, I think so. I'm impressed.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Uh, so to talk about Brune Boina is to step into the literal and spiritual heart of ancient Ireland.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Look at you go. You're really getting into it.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

You look like you belong there. I suck from a thumb, got some salmon knowledge, some salmon juice. I love it. Uh, it is a landscape where archaeology meets high fantasy mythology. Your jam. My baby. Uh so the Palace of Boina. Okay. Located in County Meath, this is a UNESCO World Heritage Site containing the most famous Neolithic passage tombs in the world. New Grange, Noth, and Doth. Yes, yes, yes. New Grange, Noth and Doth. Wait, okay.

unknown 14:16

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Douth, Deuth, Doth. Rhymed with Mouth. Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's perfect. It's going great. Is anyone surprised?

SPEAKER_03 14:25

Not at all. Um, so this place is actually older than the pyramid. Wild. If you can believe that. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Which is another place that you love. Oh, I love it.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

I love it. Uh so it's built around 3200 BCE. These structures are older than Stonehenge and the Great Pyramid of Giza. Wild. Uh, fun fact, did you know that um Cleopatra lived closer to the um creation of the iPhone than she did to the pyramids?

SPEAKER_02 14:56

What? Really?

SPEAKER_03 14:57

Yeah. They're older than people think, and she was around later than people think.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

That's wild. So and this is even older.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

And this is even older. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

Ancient.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

Ancient. And like we can't build chili.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

No, we cannot. Absolutely not. Look at my car. We're not gonna get into it.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

Newgrange is famous for its precise alignment. On the winter solstice, a beam of light enters a roof box and perfectly illuminates the inner chamber.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

And you had just educated me on this.

SPEAKER_03 15:32

Which is so cool. Except for this specific time, it's like dark in there. You would need a light. Like it's like almost pitch black. But they precisely lined it up. And keep in mind, 3200 BCE. I mean. This is like eons ago. Um, and they were able to figure this out. So when the light hits it at a certain time at the like solstice solstice, beautiful. It illuminates the inner chamber. That would be great.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Something to see. Yeah. Something to see.

SPEAKER_03 16:01

Um, it's also the home of the gods. So in mythology, this was the headquarters of the Tuatha Denana.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Which, yes, you've become a pro at that.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Um, it was the home of the Dagda or the good god. Sure. And later his son Ang Angus Og, the god of love.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Yes, beautiful. Again, I'm sorry. You're getting all the names. All of them. All the names. I'm sorry. I'm trying my best, guys. Yeah, I think it's my turn soon now. Oh, good. So, all right, let's move on to the white witch of the boy. Little Stevie next. Okay. Lil Stevie? Lil Stevie next. So while there isn't one single white witch, um, the title usually refers to one of these two legendary women who dominate the valley. Okay. So there's Boen, the goddess of the Boyne. Boine, Boina? I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. We looked this up. All right. So, um, Boanne is the most direct lady of the Boine. She was the goddess of the Duatha Dana. Thank you. And is the reason the river exists. Do you love how I'm just not even trying? Yeah. I'm just throwing it to you. I love it. Um so the original myth uh includes uh the fact that she went to the forbidden well of Sagus. I'm sorry. The source of all wisdom. Love it. She walked around it counterclockwise to challenge its power. Okay. The well erupted into a violent surge, mutilating Boan and chasing her across the land until it reached the sea. Tough go.

SPEAKER_03 17:32

Tough go for sure.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

This path became known as the River Boine.

SPEAKER_03 17:36

The River Boine.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Her name means there's another tough go. Oh dear. It means white cow. White cow. Symbolizing fertility and the Milky Way of the sky reflecting a river. I like that. That's cool. That's beautiful. That's quite good.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

I feel like also way back then, probably wasn't as shitty to be a cow. It's probably way healthier.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Definitely.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

It's not like Hollywood these days.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Yeah, man. I'm telling you. Yeah, and it was like gorgeous and you know, fertile and lovely. So yeah. Um good on you, white cow. Yeah, exactly. Steven, I'm sorry about this name.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

Great.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

I'm sorry. I did look it up and I forgot to write it down.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

The Kalec.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

You could just say the English version if you want.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Uh so we've got the hag of Loch Kru. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

Just down the road from Bruna Boina are the Loch Kru Cairns.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Uh, also known as the Hill of the Witch. Ooh, fun. Legend says an ancient witch or giantess named Garavoy. I'm sorry. A form of the Caddock. Uh carried. Also sorry. Carried white stones in her apron. She jumped from hilltop to hilltop, dropping stones to form the megalithic tomb. So cool. So cool. Then we have the hag's chair. Yeah. At Loch Crew, there is a massive stone seat called the Hag's Chair, where the witch sat to watch the stars.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

That sounds like a wonderful life.

SPEAKER_03 19:08

It does. Oh my god, I wish.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

I'm in.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

So in. Um, she is often depicted wearing a white apron or shawl, and the white quartz stones used to face Newgrange are sometimes linked to her apron full of stones legend.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

That is so cool. Right? That's cool. I love it. That's really cool. Okay, we've got another one to share. Okay. Okay. To uh bring home the Irish folklore. So in Irish mythology, um, these these stories, okay, we're gonna first of all again, really sorry about the names. Okay. This is a famous story, and I feel almost bad not being able to do its um justice, do its justice for it. So here we go. So in Irish mythology, comparing Kukolin and Nafiana is a bit like comparing a solo superhero to an elite special forces unit. So an individual versus an actual like team or group. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

So I still think the superhero would win, would win. I mean it's a superhero with mutant powers or a human special forces unit.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

I guess. I mean, I didn't say human, it said elite, but oh fair, right? So we'll find out. Why don't we find out together? Yeah. So they do belong to different cycles of the legend and represent different eras of the Irish heroic ideal. Okay. So different times. Yep. Same idea, different times. Okay. So talking about the Ulster cycle Ulster? Ulster cycle first. So Kukulin is the central figure of the Ulster cycle, set around the first century AB. Wow. Okay. This is a long, long, long time ago. He's a demigod and the son of the god Lu. And he is famous for his incredible strength and his warp spasm. That is a direct quote from the website, which I thought was amazing, which is um considered a terrifying battle frenzy. So cutting to another story called The Hound of Kulin. So our hero, he accidentally killed the ferocious guard dog of Kulan the Smith. To make amends, he promised to act as the blacksmith's guard dog until a new one could be trained, thus becoming Kukulin or the Hound of Cullen.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

So a little pot play going on.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

Alright.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

I mean, come on. Yeah, but you're not wrong. So his greatest feat was defending Ulster single handedly against the armies of Queen Maeve in the cattle raid of Cooley. Mm-hmm. While the rest of Ulster's men were incapacitated by a curse. Kulkun Kukulin. Yes, Kukulin.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Kulin. Kukulin.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Stood at a riverford and defeated one warrior after another in single combat.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Amazing.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Solo superheroes, man.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Amazing.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

Um he wielded a legendary barbed spear that could only be used in water and was guaranteed to be fatal once it entered the body. That's it. So all you gotta do is you're done.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Wild. Wild stuff. What a hero.

SPEAKER_03 22:27

What a hero.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

So moving on to the group now, the Fiona. I'm sorry. Uh, these were the elite nomadic bands of hunter warriors who served as the guardians of Ireland and the High King.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

They are the central figures of the Fenian cycle, a massive body of legends second only to the Ulster cycle in Irish lore, which we just discussed. Yeah. While they're often romanticized as noble knights, the Fienna were originally liminal figures, which is a throwback to liminal spaces because guess what? These were men who lived on the edges of society, hunting in the wild during the summer and living off the hospitality of people during the winter. Look at that. On the cusp, in between the worlds, living off the edge of society.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

We have to do a liminal spaces episode because it's been a theme lately. It keeps coming up. It keeps coming up.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

Um so how to join the fiat.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Yeah. I I could I could not be a part of it.

SPEAKER_03 23:29

You don't think so?

SPEAKER_01 23:30

I'm a woman.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

Oh that's a common theme, too. Basically, don't be a woman.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Yeah, yeah. Hot tips.

SPEAKER_03 23:38

We need to do some like woman power episodes. Definitely.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

And we will. We will.

SPEAKER_03 23:43

Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

Women are fantastic.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

Um, the requirements to join were famously brutal and borderline supernatural. Sure. Um, one, a candidate had to master the 12 books of poetry.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

That's a lot of poetry.

SPEAKER_03 23:58

A lot of poetry. Oof. Uh, then we have the trench test.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

He had to stand in a knee-deep hole and defend himself against nine warriors using only a shield and a hazel stick. Wow. That's rough.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

That's really rough. No use of your legs. Yeah. You're immediately shorter than everyone.

SPEAKER_03 24:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

You know what? I'm okay. I don't want to be bad. I don't want to be. Here's another test. The forest run. So an individual who wanted to join had to run through the forest pursued by warriors without breaking a single twig under foot or ruffling his braided hair. Wait. I what? I I will sit at my desk typing emails to clients for four hours and have to chase I have to rebraid my hair. Yeah. Never mind running for your life through a forest, not breaking any sticks or twigs.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

I don't even know how that's possible. Being chased by a group. I mean, like it said, it's a part of the case. Impossible. Yes, yes, totally.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Big respect. Big respect. I take back what I said earlier. I'm totally okay not being a part of it. Yeah. So the final task was the jump.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

The jump.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

Okay. One had to be able to jump over a branch as high as his forehead and run under one as low as his knee at full speed.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

That's some hardcore limbo action. Wow. Yeah, that's a no from me. That's a no.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

That is a big no. Wow. Amazing.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

Compute says no.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

Compute says nah.

SPEAKER_03 25:32

Uh so their motto.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

Don't even bother. Don't even bother. No, I was. No, you can't because you're gonna say it phonetically, and it's that's incorrect, as we know.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

Fair.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

Gaelic cannot be phonetically said in the English language. It cannot. Because that's certainly not by us.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

This sentence.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Why don't you tell us what it means?

SPEAKER_03 25:52

Okay. So imagine I'm saying this in Gaelic.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

If you want, we can like impose it. That's true. Right? Yeah. Okay, but yes, back to you. Imagine you're saying this in Gaelic.

SPEAKER_03 26:02

I will put the sentence here at the right now. Um, but it basically means purity in our hearts, strength in our limbs, and action according to our words.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Is that so wonderful?

SPEAKER_03 26:15

I like that.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

And honestly, I think something that we should all follow regardless of being in this wonderful elite warrior group or not.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

Um I mean, a lot of people these days could be uh taking some advice from this.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Like a lot of the people who we encountered yesterday at Costco. Oh my gosh. I don't know. I'm just saying. Um wild. Um but uh fascinating. This is why I love this land so much. It is angel.

SPEAKER_03 26:45

There's so much to it.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Yeah, incredible lore, and it's like respected. People love it. When you also think about this is one thing I talked a lot um about to my friends in Ireland when I was visiting them, because they had a lot of questions about Canada, of course. Um, and most of them had been there, but besides the point, we love we love talking about each other's countries. And they were like, Well, tell us like some tales. How old is your country? I'm like, our country is nothing compared to yours. I mean when it comes to colonize, obviously, because we did. We talked a lot about like the indigenous people who were here and that I love. I love learning about that in school.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

I But it's also so sad.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

It's terrible and awful what the colonization of our country, yeah. Um, how it happened, what happened is just awful. So, but it truthfully is, you know, a drop in the bucket compared to the ancient lands um and recorded history, you know? So two very different countries, but really, really wild stories. Yeah. I just love the folklore of it.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

It's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Yeah, yeah. I can't wait to come back. I can't wait to see some of these places and hear about some of these legends. Yeah. Write like to us, have someone talk to us. Also, someone who can number one pronounce these words correctly, speak Gaelic are from there.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

I would love to actually speak Gaelic.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

Oh man, it's a beautiful language.

SPEAKER_03 28:08

I know I've mentioned this before because we did an I Irish episode. Oh, yeah, that's right. But Keely, my cat's name. Keely in Gaelic means beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:17

So, like it's it's gotta, it's gotta place in my heart.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Gaelic, it's just so pretty. I could have listened to them speak in it all day long. It's just like such a sing-songing, beautiful language. Fairy language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, okay, well, any other thoughts? That's I love it. Yeah. Wraps it up for the month as well. This is the last one before you move on into April. Um, so my birth month. So exciting. I can't believe it's almost here. I don't want to talk about mine. I'm not. The next couple of years are gonna be tough for me. Um, okay, well, thank you so much for listening to the Weirdos of Whimsy. We will be back again soon with another episode that guides you through the weird and whimsical journey that is our brains. Be sure to follow us on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube at Weirdos of Whimsypod. Watch that space for updates and release dates and other treats and delectable morsels. Say goodbye, Stevie.

SPEAKER_03 29:18

Goodbye, everybody, and that's the crack. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

Nailed it. Sounds really good. Uh, I'm not even gonna try to top that. And as always, big gobs, eh? Well, see you later.